This past couple months have been a mess for me. my aunt valerie died, my grandad has alzheimers and plus I think im losing my best friend.in september one of my friends is taking my other friend with her to nevada and I am super . Its like i dont deserve a vacation too it's like . she took one of my friends to nj last summer. Its like Im second best to my best friend it makes me very sad. im so lost i dont know what to do. i wish i could confront her but I know from perspective when we fight it doesnt end up good at all! next year i should just go on the mission trip to chile that way everything in my life will be alright.i just dont want to lose her. I wish my dad was here he would give me advice. I just hope this summer goes alright for me, i may go to camp with 2 members from my church but i need more information about it. I wish i knew if i could go to ohio in august so I can fill out the form. I hope i can figure that out!  ill keep praying for my family and straighten out my life more.Maybe also i need to make new friends. I dont want to end up like the hills girls between " lauren & heidi" and lose friendship for ever because its different between me and my friend because we're not in relationships. Im also thinking i may need therapy i really dont know at all. well im going to go find something to do. goodnight!

Hey everyone heres an update on my diet. Its not going well as i hoped for. Tomorrow I definitely have to change my eating habits like when I was in weight watchers. I have to push myself so i can achieve to change the way i look. Things at work are going alright. they're cutting hours so i hope i get more hours next week.  I need money to pay my medical bills,college loans and gas. Its hard to gain hours when a couple people get more hours and some people stand in the dust and watch the other people work. right now the person i cant stand that much is this girl and she gets treated like a princess just because she gets managers food and stuff. Its like ridiculous and it makes me furious. Everyone else feels the same way about this girl.It really ticks me off when someone has a a good vibe with the scheduling manager and gain the hours you want.  Just because  you get managers food doesnt mean all of them like the person. I just want someone to flip out alittle then everything would be better. When I was in kmart i got the hours i wanted and worked super hard. All I have to do now is to breathe and let everything be better the next schedule! I really need a vacation from regal. Since im not working much next week ill go to the gym or watch movies.Enough of me complaining Im going to go find something fun to do.

well today so far i woke up got a shower and then did some errands with my mom. We got breakfast from Yum-Yum Donuts. I got 2 doughnuts with a french vanilla cappucino. I love coffee gives me more energy for the day.Once  I got home I did some laundry some of it is in the dryer as i write. I just needed a clean work uniform for tomorrow, lolI might hang with my friend Kaitlin later. I dont know what we'll do but we'll do what we do best which is shoppingg I really have to save money for all my bills. Here's a work update, I dont think one of the managers at regal doesnt like me but Ill do my best to get along with her.It's hard since I been there since 2005! My love life is going well I have a good bf and he treats me very well i love him very much & i hope to stay with him for a long time I have a new goal I want to try to lose about 10 lbs and go to the gym more. I want to look GREAT for the summer! I have to stay away from sweets and salty foods and drink more water! I just hope it works out but wish me luck

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